The Marauders and a book
by LillianxBrittany
Summary: i suck at summaries
1. Chapter One: The Worst Birthday

The Marauders and a book  
  
A long time ago,  
  
"I'm bored."  
  
Lily Evans glared at him from behind her thick textbook, "Good for you. I don't care." James Potter threw aside his parchment in ease, "Your suppose to be tutoring me Evans, like MgGonagall said."  
  
She gritted her teeth, "Her name is Professor MgGonagall and I refused to tutor such a pest."  
  
He looked somewhat hurt but it was replaced with a dull look, "I'm bored."  
  
Lily threw down her book with a slam which didn't rattle James at the slightest, "Then go do something! Anything, but stop bugging me!" James took out his wand and tried to do a spell from Charms. She looked back at her book and found an interesting summary.  
  
As James became weary of being un successful, he heard her mutter something. James asked, "What did you say?"  
  
Lily groaned, "What now?"  
  
"I heard you mutter something."  
  
"No, I didn't."  
  
"No, I heard you."  
  
She ignored him and James shrugged, still thrashing his wand around. After a few seconds, something fell onto the table, causing them both to jump. Lily cautiously picked up a book, she examined it and frowned, "What did you do this time Potter?" James threw up his hands, "What makes you think I had something to do with this?"  
  
"You were the one who was waving your wand like an moron."  
  
"You were the one who said something."  
  
Lily read out loud; "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets." She eyed James who cried out, "What!?" She shook her head and opened the first page, he whined, "I wanna hear it!" Lily growled, "Fine." and began reading.....'  
  
Chapter 1: The Worst Birthday  
  
Not the first time, an arguement had broken out over breakfast at number four, Privet Drive. Mr. Vernon Dursley  
  
Lily: That sounds familiar some how.....  
  
James: Well, that can't be good.  
  
had been woken in the early hours of the morning by a loud, hooting noise from his nephew Harry's room.  
  
"Third time his week!" he roared across the table. "If you can't control that owl, it will have to go!"  
  
Harry tried, yet again, to explain.  
  
James: I wonder how many times he had to explain?  
  
Lily: Shut up and we might be able to find out.  
  
"She's bored," he said. She's used to flying around outside. If I could just let her out at night-"  
  
"Do I look stupid?" snarled Uncle Vernon, a bit of fried egg dangling from his mustache.  
  
James: ::sn igg ers:: Yeah.  
  
"I know what will happen if that owl's let out."  
  
He exchanged dark looks with his wife, Petunia.  
  
Lily: ::stops reading:: Ok, Whoa! This is getting really creepy!  
  
James: What's wrong?  
  
Lily: My sister's name is Petunia, she's dating someone named Vernon Dursley.  
  
James: ..ok....  
  
Harry tried to argue back but his words were drowned by a long, loud belch from the Dudley's son, Dudley.  
  
James: Interesting name.  
  
Lily: Gross.  
  
"I want more bacon."  
  
James: ::says bitterly:: Spoiled.  
  
"There's more in the frying pan, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia, turning her misty eyes on her massive. "We must build you up while we've got the chance....I don't like the sound of that school food...."  
  
"Nonsense Petunia, I never went hungry when I was at Smeltings,"  
  
Lily: From what I heard, he ate the whole school.  
  
James: ::chokes back laughter::  
  
said Uncle Vernon heartily. "Dudley gets enough, don't you, son?"  
  
Dudley, who was so large his bottom drooped over either side of the kitchen chair,  
  
All: ::makes a face::  
  
James: Bad image.  
  
grinned and turned to Harry.  
  
"Pass the frying pan."  
  
"You've forgotten the magic word," said Harry irritably.  
  
The effect of this simple sentence on the rest of the family was incredible:  
  
James: They died from shock and Harry was rid of them forever.  
  
Lily: Then why would the chapter be called, "Worst Birthday?"  
  
James: ::blinks:: You have point; continue.  
  
Dudley gasped and fell off his chair with a crash that shook the whole kitchen; Mrs. Dursley gave a small scream and clasped her hands to her mouth; Mr. Dursley jumped to his feet, veins throbbing in his temples.  
  
"I meant 'please'!" said Harry quickly. "I didn't mean-"  
  
"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU," thundered his uncle, spraying spit all over the table,  
  
All: ::shivers in disgust::  
  
"ABOUT SAYING THE 'M' WORD IN OUT HOUSE?"  
  
"But I-"  
  
"HOW DARE YOU THREATEN DUDLEY!" roared Uncle Vernon, pounding the table with his fist.  
  
"I just-"  
  
"I WARNED YOU! I WILL NOT TOLERATE MENTION OF YOUR ABNORMALITY UNDER THIS ROOF!"  
  
All: ::look at each other understandingly:: Muggles.  
  
Harry stared from his purple faced uncle to his pale aunt, who was trying to heave Dudley to his feet.  
  
James: He'd probably squash her.  
  
"All right," said Harry, "all right..."  
  
Uncle Vernon sat back down, breathing like a winded rhinoceros  
  
James: ::looks curious:: What's a rhinoceros?  
  
Lily: Shut up.  
  
and watching Harry closely out of the corners of his small sharp eyes.  
  
Ever since Harry had come home for the summer holidays, Uncle Vernon had been treating him like a bomb that might go off any minute, because Harry Potter wasn't a normal boy. As a matter of fact, he was not normal as it could possibly be.  
  
Harry Potter was a wizard-  
  
James: I knew it!  
  
a wizard fresh from his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And as if the Dursley's were unhappy to have him back for the holidays, it was nothing to how Harry felt.  
  
He missed Hogwarts so much it was like having a constant stomach.  
  
James: That would suck.  
  
He missed the castle, with it's secret passageways and ghosts, his classes(though perhaps Snape, The Potions Master),  
  
James: ::horrified:: He's teaching there?! Now, I feel really bad for the boy.  
  
the mail arriving by owl, eating banquets in the Great Hall, sleeping in his four postered bed in the tower dormitory, visiting the gamekeeper, Hagrid,  
  
James: Hagrid still there?  
  
Lily: Shut it Potter, I'm warning you  
  
in his cabin next to the Forbidden Forest in the grounds, and, especially, Quittich, the most popular sport in the wizarding world (six tall goal posts, four flying balls, and fourteen plays on broomsticks).  
  
Lily: I think it's rather dumb and dangerous to play such a game.  
  
James: Hey! Why do you get to talk?  
  
Lily: because I'm the one who knows the spell to make you die from laughter.  
  
James: ::moves away slightly::  
  
All of Harry's spell books, his wand, robes, cauldron, and top-of-the-line Nimbus Two Thousand broomstick had been locked in the cupboard under the stairs by Uncle Vernon the instant Harry came home. What did the Dursleys care if Harry lost his place in the House Quittich Team because he didn't practiced all summer? What was it to the Dursleys if Harry went back to school without any of his homework done? The Dursleys were what wizards called Muggles (not a drop of magical blood in their veins),  
  
James: Duh.  
  
Lily: ::ignores him this once::  
  
and as fast as they were concerned, having in the family was a matter of the deepest shame.  
  
Lily: ::bares her teeth:: If that Petunia is anything like my sister.  
  
James: Why does Harry put up with them?  
  
Uncle Vernon even padlocked Harry's owl, inside her cage, to stop her from carrying messages to anyone in the wizarding world.  
  
Harry looked like nothing like the rest of the family. Uncle Vernon was large  
  
Lily: Larger the large.  
  
and neckless, with an enormous black mustache; Aunt Petunia was horse faced and bony;  
  
Lily: ::eyes widen with terror:: Omg....  
  
Dudley was blonde, pink and porky.  
  
James: Pig in a wig!  
  
Lily: ::raises her wand threateningly::  
  
James: ::closes mouth::  
  
Harry, on the other hand, was small and skinny, with brilliant green eyes  
  
James: ::stares at Lily who is equally shocked::  
  
and jet-black hair that was always untidy.  
  
Lily: ::stares at James::  
  
James: ::breaths:: Whoa  
  
He wore round glasses, and on his forehead was a thin, lightening-shaped scar.  
  
James: ::too shocked to make a stupid comment::  
  
It was this scar that made Harry so particularly unusual, even for a wizard. This scar was the only hint of Harry's very mysterious past, of the reason he had been left on the Dursley's doorstep eleven years before.  
  
At the age of one year old, Harry had somehow survived a curse from the greatest Dark sorcerer of all time, Lord Voldemort,  
  
James: ::looks away::  
  
Lily: ::swallows hard and continues:: whose name most witches and wizards still feared to speak. Harry's parents had died in Voldemort's attack,  
  
James: ::murmurs:: Poor kid.  
  
but Harry had escaped with his lightning scar, and somehow - nobody understood why - Voldemort's powers had been destroyed the instant he had failed to kill Harry.  
  
James: He's a strong wizard, I can't believe he survived.  
  
Lily: ::nods::  
  
So Harry had been brought up by his dead mother's sister and her husband.  
  
Lily: ::gasps:: no.....No!  
  
James: What?  
  
Lily: James...I think Harry's our son.  
  
James: .....  
  
Lily: It makes sense, his appearance, having magic blood; my sister is a Muggle named Petunia and the guy she's dating is a Muggle named Vernon Dursley. All these facts are true.  
  
James: ::turns pale:: We can't be sure that it's really us.  
  
Lily: ::tears run down her face:: Oh, if it is, then we're dead! We'll never see our child grow up, never see him say his first word, or see the man he'll grow into be!  
  
James: ::pulls her into an embrace:: Shh...  
  
Lily: ::murmurs:: ...Never be there when horrible things happen, never encourage him to keep going, never meet all his little friends...  
  
James: ::pats her back:: It's alright Lils, we're reading about it now. All we can do is hope for the best for him.  
  
Lily: ::pulls away and nods, picking up the book::  
  
He had spent ten years with the Dursley's, never understanding why he kept making odd things happen without meaning to, believing the Dursleys' story that he got his scar in a car crash that killed his parents.  
  
James: ::stands up angry:: We didn't die in a car crash!  
  
Lily: ::mumbles:: Sit down James.  
  
James: ::obeys::  
  
And then, exactly a year ago, Hogwarts written to Harry, and the whole story had come out.  
  
James: ::mutters:: Good.  
  
Harry had taken up his place at wizard school, where he and his scar were famous...but now the school year was over, and he was back with the Dursleys for the summer, back to being treated like a dog that rolled in something smelly.  
  
The Dursleys hadn't even remembered that today happened to be Harry's twelfth birthday.  
  
Lily: ::smiles at James:: He's twelve.  
  
James: ::too busy controlling his fury::  
  
Of course, his hopes hadn't been high; they'd never given him a real present, let alone a cake-but ignored it completely....  
  
James: ::explodes:: The next time I see your sister and her whale of a boyfriend, I'll kick their arse!  
  
Lily: ::shrugs:: Be my guest. Just let me have a go after.  
  
James: ::nods firmly::  
  
At the moment, Uncle Vernon cleared his throat importantly and said, "Now, as we all know, today is a very important day."  
  
Harry looked up, hardly daring to believe it.  
  
"This could well be the day I make the biggest deal of my career," said Uncle Vernon.  
  
James: ::says darkly:: Oh yeah, Dursley's dead.  
  
Lily: ::frowns:: How dare he crush my son's hopes.  
  
Harry went back to his toast. Of course, he thought bitterly, Uncle Vernon was talking about his stupid dinner party. He had been talking about nothing else for two weeks.  
  
James: ::tries to put in humor:: It must have been a very boring two weeks.  
  
Lily: ::smiles::  
  
Some rich builder and his wife was coming to dinner and Uncle Vernon was hoping to get an huge order from him (Uncle Vernon's company made drills).  
  
James: ::looks curious again:: What's drills?  
  
Lily: ::shakes her head::  
  
"I think we should run through the schedule one more time," said Uncle Vernon. "We should all be in position at eight o' clock. Petunia, you will be-?"  
  
"In the lounge," said Aunt Petunia promptly, "waiting to welcome then graciously to our house."  
  
"Good, good." And Dudley?"  
  
"I'll be waiting to open the front door." Dudley put on a foul, simpering smile. "May I take your coats, Mr. and Mrs. Mason?"  
  
"They'll love him!" cried Aunt Petunia rapturously.  
  
James: ::snorts:: If they're brainless gits.  
  
Lily: They are if they agree to meet my sister.  
  
"Excellent, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon. Then he rounded on Harry. "And you?"  
  
"I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I'm not there." said Harry tonelessly.  
  
James: ::imitating Harry:: And while you all are being boring, I'll escape from this hellhole and blast this house to the ground.  
  
Lily: ::smacks his arm:: That's not funny.  
  
"Exactly," said Uncle Vernon nastily. "I will lead them into the lounge, introduce you, Petunia, and pour them drinks. At eight fifteen-"  
  
"I'll announce dinner," said Aunt Petunia.  
  
"And, Dudley, you'll say-"  
  
"May I take you through the dining room, Mrs. Mason?" said Dudley, offering his fat arm to an invisible woman.  
  
"My perfect little gentleman!" sniffed Aunt Petunia.  
  
"And you?" said Uncle Vernon viciously to Harry.  
  
"I'll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I'm not there," said Harry dully.  
  
James: ::still imitates Harry:: but while you're eating your fancy food, I'll enchant the food to chase your little dinner guests.  
  
Lily: ::rolls her eyes::  
  
"Precisely. Now, we should aim to get a few good compliments at dinner. Petunia, any ideas?"  
  
"Vernon tells me you're a wonderful golfer, Mr. Mason....Do tell me where you bought your dress, Mrs. Mason...."  
  
"Perfect....Dudley?"  
  
"How about - 'We had to write an essay about our hero at school, Mr. Mason, and I wrote about you."  
  
This was too much for both Aunt Petunia and Harry. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and hugged her son, while Harry ducked under the table so they wouldn't see him laugh.  
  
"And you boy?"  
  
Harry fought to keep a straight face as he emerged.  
  
James: That had to be a struggle.  
  
"I'll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I'm not there," he said.  
  
James: ::yet again, imitating Harry:: And while-  
  
Lily: ::covers his mouth with her hand::  
  
"Too right you will," said Uncle Vernon forcefully. "The Mansons don't know any thing about you and it's going to stay that way. When's dinner's over, Petunia, and I'll bring the subject around drills.  
  
James: ::muffles something sounding like a question::  
  
With any luck, I'll have the deal signed and sealed before the news at ten. We'll be shopping for a vacation home in Majorca this time tomorrow."  
  
Harry couldn't feel too excited about this. He didn't think the Dursleys would like him any better in Majorca then they did at Privet Drive.  
  
"Right - I'm off to town to pick up dinner jackets for Dudley and me. And you," he snarled  
  
James: ::tries to say something that sounds like Sirius::  
  
Lily: If you stop interrupting, I'll let go.  
  
James: ::nods::  
  
Lily: ::removes her hand::  
  
at Harry. "You stay out of your aunt's way while she's cleaning."  
  
Harry left through the back door. It was a brilliant, sunny day. He crossed the lawn, slumped down on the garden bench, and sang under his breath:  
  
"Happy birthday to me....happy birthday to me..."  
  
Lily: ::frowns unhappily::  
  
No cards, no presents, and he would be spending the evening pretending not to exist. He gazed miserably into the hedge. He never felt so lonely.  
  
Lily: ::a tear slips out:: My poor baby.  
  
More then anything else at Hogwarts, more even then playing Quittich, Harry missed his best friends, Ron Weasly and Hermione Granger. They, however, didn't seem to be missing him at all. Neither of them had written him all summer, even though Ron had said he was going to ask Harry to come and stay.  
  
James: ::furrows his brow:: What kind of friends are they?  
  
Lily: ::too upset to speak::  
  
Countless times, Harry had been on the point of unlocking Hedwig's cage by magic and sending her to Ron and Hermione with a letter, but it wasn't worth the risk. Underage wizards weren't allowed to use magic outside of school.  
  
Lily: Damn straight, if you do anything like that young man...  
  
James: Uh...Lily? I don't think he can hear you.  
  
Harry hadn't told the Dursleys this; he knew it was their only terror that he might turn them all into dung beetles, that stopped them from locking him in the cupboard under the stairs with his wand and broomstick.  
  
Lily: ::mutters:: They bloody well better not.  
  
For the first couple of weeks back, Harry had enjoyed muttering nonsense words under his breath and watching Dudley tear out of the room as fast as his fat legs would carry him.  
  
James: ::grins:: That does sound like fun.  
  
But a long silence from Ron and Hermione had made Harry feel so cut off from the magical world that even taunting Dudley had lost it's appeal - and now Ron and Hermione had forgotten his birthday.  
  
James: I'd curse them the first day I got back.  
  
Lily: Well, that's stupid.  
  
What wouldn't he give now for a message from Hogwarts? From any witch or wizard? He'd almost be glad of a sight from his archenemy, Draco Malfoy, just to be sure it wasn't all a dream.....  
  
James: ::jaw drops:: Malfoy has a son! I don't believe it!  
  
Lily: ::shrugs:: At least they are enemies....I can't say I'm happy....  
  
James: That's not the point, Harry has to deal with Snape and Malfoy!  
  
Lily: ::remembers:: Hey, you're not suppose to be talking!  
  
James: ::pouts::  
  
Not that his whole year at Hogwarts had been fun. At the very end of the term, Harry had come face-to-face with no other then Lord Voldemort himself.  
  
Lily: ::gasps::  
  
Voldemort might be a ruin of his former self, but he was still terrifying, still cunning, still determined to regain power. Harry had slipped through Voldemort's clutches for the second time, it had been an narrow escape, and even now, weeks later, Harry kept waking up at night, drenched in cold sweat, wondering where Voldemort was now, remembering his livid face, his wide, mad eyes -  
  
Lily: ::closes her eyes shivering::  
  
James: Are you alright Lily?  
  
Lily: ::murmurs:: Yes.  
  
Harry suddenly sat bolt upright on the garden bench. He had been staring absent-mindedly into the hedge - and the hedge was staring back. Two enormous green eyes had appeared among the leaves.  
  
Harry jumped to his feet just as a jeering voice floated across the lawn.  
  
James: ::rolls his eyes::  
  
"I know what day it is," sang Dudley, waddling toward him.  
  
The huge eyes blinked and vanished.  
  
"What?" said Harry, not taking his eyes off the spot where they had been.  
  
"I know what day it is," Dudley repeated, coming right up to him.  
  
"Well done," said Harry. "So you've finally learned the days of the week."  
  
All: ::snorts in laughter::  
  
"Today's your birthday," sneered Dudley. "How come you haven't got any cards? Haven't you got any friends at that freak place?"  
  
"Better not let your mum hear you talking about my school," said Harry coolly.  
  
Dudley hitched up his trousers, which were slipping down his fat bottom.  
  
All: ::gags::  
  
Lily: Eww.  
  
"Why're you staring at that hedge?" he said suspiciously.  
  
"I'm trying to decide what would be the best spell to set it on fire," said Harry.  
  
Dudley stumbled backward at once, a look of panic on his fat face.  
  
"You c-can't - Dad told you you're not to do m-magic - he said he'll chuck you out of the house - and you haven't got anywhere else to go - you haven't got any friends to take you -"  
  
Lily: ::turns to James:: He should have stop right there.  
  
" Jiggery pokery!" said Harry in a fierce voice. "Hocus pocus - squiggly wiggly -"  
  
James: ::laughs hysterically:: squiggly wiggly!  
  
Lily: ::tries to hid the smirk but fails::  
  
"MUUUUUM!" howled Dudley, tripping over his feet as he dashed towards the house. "MUUUUM! He's doing you know what!"  
  
Harry paid dearly for his moment of fun. As neither Dudley nor the hedge was in any way hurt, Aunt Petunia knew he hadn't really sone magic, but he still had to duck as she aimed a heavy blow at his head with a soapy frying pan.  
  
Lily: ::no longer smirking:: Petunia....  
  
Then she gave him work to do, with the promise he wouldn't eat again until he finished.  
  
While Dudley lolled around watching and eating ice cream, Harry cleaned the windows, washed the car, mowed the lawn, trimmed the flowerbeds, pruned and watered the roses, and repainted the garden bench. The sun blazed overhead burning the back of his neck. Harry knew he shouldn't have risen to Dudley's bait, but Dudley had said the very thing Harry had been thinking himself....maybe he didn't have any friends at Hogwarts....  
  
James: Quite impossible...we Potters are extremely popular and always will have rather large groups of friends....  
  
Lily: ::shakes her head in disgust::  
  
Wish they could see the famous Harry Potter now, he thought savagely as he spread manure on the flowerbeds, his back aching, sweat running down his face.  
  
It was half past seven in the evening when at last, exhausted, he heard Aunt Petunia calling him.  
  
"Get in here! and walk on the newspaper!"  
  
Harry moved gladly into the shade of the gleaming kitchen. On top of the fridge stood tonight's pudding: a huge mound of whipped cream and sugared violets. A loin of roast pork was sizzling in the oven.  
  
"Eat quickly! The Masons will be here soon!" snapped Aunt Petunia, pointing to two slices of bread and a lump of cheese on the kitchen table.  
  
James: What? They get to have pork and pudding when he gets bread and cheese!?  
  
Lily: When I get home for the holidays, Petunia is ::makes a slashing motion with her finger across her throat::  
  
She was already wearing a salmon-pink cocktail dress.  
  
Harry washed his hands and bolted down his pitiful dinner. The moment he finished, Aunt Petunia whisked away his plate. "Upstairs, hurry!"  
  
As he passed the door to the living room, Harry caught a glimpse of Uncle Vernon and Dudley in bow ties and dinner jackets. He had only just reached the upstairs landing when the doorbell rang and Uncle Vernon's furious face appeared at the foot of the stairs.  
  
"Remember boy - one sound -"  
  
Harry crossed to his bedroom on tiptoe, slipped inside, closed the door, and turned to collapse on the bed.  
  
The trouble was, there was someone already sitting on it.  
  
Lily finished, "And that's the end of the first chapter." James was about to speak when a loud noise scared them out of their wits.  
  
The rest of the Marauder's came in; young and good looking Sirius Black leaned unceremoniously in a comfortable chair; sandy haired and wily Remus Lupin sat beside Lily and smiled politely; round and meek Peter Pettigrew sat on the floor quietly.  
  
Sirius asked smiling, "How's the tutoring going?" James kicked his feet up, "Pretty good. A book appeared out of thin air and it's about me and Lily's kid named Harry."  
  
Sirius didn't look unfazed but Remus and Peter looked interested, Remus took a look at book and nodded; "That's cool."  
  
Lily nodded, "Yes, we know that Harry's going to Hogwarts, he's in his second year, he's miserable, we're dead, he's living with my sister and her boyfriend who are Muggles...."  
  
It took a while before it sank in, Sirius jolted up, pale faced; "Wait, you guys can't die! Who will help me prank Snivelly!?"  
  
He looked near tears as he hugged Lily, she blinked several times and patted his head awkwardly, "It's alright Sirius, we're not even sure if this is what's really going to happen."  
  
James pulled Sirius off her and Remus asked, "Is it any good?"  
  
Lily nodded, "Yeah."  
  
Peter piped, "Then what are you waiting for, let's read!" They eyed him as he grew red and slouched onto the floor. Remus handed Lily the book and she said, "Alright, I'll read." 


	2. Chapter Two: Dobby's Warning, Part One

Chapter 2: Dobby's Warning  
  
Harry managed not to shout, but it was a close thing.  
  
Sirius: what's a close thing? I don't get it.  
  
All: ::rolls eyes::  
  
The little creature on the bed had large, bat-like ears and bulging green eyes the size of tennis balls.  
  
Sirius/James: what's tennis balls?  
  
Lily/Peter/Remus: ::ignores them::  
  
Harry knew instantly that this was what had been watching him out of the garden hedge.  
  
As they stared at each other, Harry heard Dudley's voice from the hall.  
  
"May I take your coats, Mr. and Mrs. Mason?"  
  
The creature slipped off the bed and bowed so low that the end og it's long, thin nose touched the carpet. Harry noticed that it was wearing what looked like a pillowcase, with rips for arm and leg holes.  
  
Sirius: Jeez...your son is sure stupid.  
  
James: ::smacks him upside the head::  
  
Lily: He's new to the wizarding world you idiot.  
  
"Er - hello," said Harry nervously.  
  
Sirius: Why is he so nervous?  
  
Remus: Shut up and let Lily read.  
  
"Harry Potter!" said the creature in a high-pitched voice Harry was sure would carry downstairs. "So long has Dobby wanted to meet you, sir...Such an honor it is."  
  
"Th-thank you," said Harry, edging along the wall and sinking into his desk chair, next to Hedwig, who was asleep in her large cage. He wanted to ask, "What are you?" but thought it would sound too rude, so instead he said, "Who are you?"  
  
Sirius: Why should he care if he's being rude to an houseelf?  
  
Lily: ::gives him an murderous glare:: Because he has proper manners, unlike some ppl.  
  
"Dobby, sir. Just Dobby. Dobby the house elf." said the creature.  
  
Sirius: ::says thoughtfully:: I wonder who's it is?  
  
Lily: ::n atchs up her wand::  
  
Remus: ::takes it out of her hands::  
  
"Oh - really?" said Harry. "Er - I don't want to be rude or anything, but - this isn't a great time for me to have a house elf in my bedroom."  
  
James: ::says outloud:: I'll say, what if those prats catch you!?  
  
Aunt Petunia's high, false laughter sounded from the living room. The elf hung his head.  
  
"Not that I'm not pleased to meet you," said Harry quickly, "but, er, is there any particular reson you're here?"  
  
"Oh, yes, sir," said Dobby earnestly. "Dobby has come to tell you, sir...it is difficult, sir...Dobby wanders where to begin..."  
  
"Sit down," said Harry politely, pointing to the bed.  
  
To his horror, the elf burst into tears - very noisy tears.  
  
"S-sir down!" he wailed. "Never...never ever..."  
  
Harry thought he heard the voices downstairs falter.  
  
All: ::groan::  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I didn't mean to ofend you or anything -"  
  
Sirius: Why should he care?  
  
Lily: ::upper lip twitchs in anger::  
  
"Offend Dobby!" choked the elf. "Dobby has never been asked to sit down by a wizard - like an equal -"  
  
Sirius: ::frowns:: He doesn't deserve to.  
  
Lily: ::barks out:: What have you against house elfs anyway?  
  
Remus: ::rolls eyes::  
  
Sirius: ::says furious:: They are filthy buggers that don't have a mind and are brainless-  
  
Lily: -you are a disgrase to the name of wizard! Just because you treat your house elf with disrespect doesn't mean other house elfs act like yours does!  
  
Sirius/Lily: ::stands up, glaring at each other face-to-face::  
  
James/Remus/Peter: ::jaw drops::  
  
Sirius: ::replies calmly:: You're right. ::sits down smiling::  
  
Lily: ::shakes her head confused and continues reading::  
  
Harry, trying to say "Shh!" and look comforting at the same time, ushered Dobby back to the bed where he sat hiccuping-  
  
Sirius: Harry was hiccuping?  
  
Lily: ::shrugs:: I don't know.  
  
Others: ::stares in amazement::  
  
James: OMG, did Evans just say...?  
  
The Maruaders: ::nods::  
  
Lily: ::rolls her eyes:: She doesn't clear sat who sat down, you idiots...  
  
looking like a large and very ugly doll. At last, he managed to control himself, and sat with his great eyes fixed on Harry in an expression of watery adoration.  
  
"You can't have met many decent wizards," said Harry, trying to cheer him up.  
  
Dobby shook his head. THen, without warning, he leapt up and starting banging his head furiously on the window, shouting, "Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!"  
  
Lily: ::looks sad::  
  
"Don't - what are you doing?" Harry hissed,  
  
Peter: SNAKE!  
  
Everyone else: ::looks at Peter::  
  
Peter: ::hides under the bed, whimpering::  
  
REmus: ::shakes head::  
  
springing up and pulling Dobby back onto the bed - Hedwig had woken up with a particularly loud screech and was beating her wings wildly against the bars of her cage.  
  
"Dobby had to punish himself, sir, " said the elf, who had gone slightly crossed eyed. "Dobby almost spoke ill of his family, sir..."  
  
"Your family?"  
  
Sirius: ::says bitterly:: Houseelves don't have families.  
  
"The wizard family Dobby serves, sir...Dobby is an house elf - bound to serve one house and one family forever..."  
  
"Do they know you're here?" asked Harry curiously.  
  
Dobby shuddered.  
  
"Oh, no sir, no...Dobby will have to punish himself most greiviously for coming to see you, sir. Dobby will have to shut his ears in the oven door for this. If they ever knew sir-"  
  
"But they won't notice if you shut your ears in the oven door?"  
  
Sirius: Of course.  
  
"Dobby doubts it sir. Dobby is always having to punish himself for something, sir. They lets Dobby get on with it, sir. Sometimes they reminds me to do extra punishments...."  
  
"But why don't you leave? Escape?"  
  
Sirius: He asks too many question!  
  
Lily: ::takes out her wand:: You make too many comments.  
  
James: Alright-  
  
Sirius: ::takes out his:: Think you can take me?  
  
Lily/Sirius: ::glares at each other and sit back down::  
  
Peter: ::peeks out from under the bed:: Is the snake gone?  
  
Sirius: ::rolls his eyes:: Yes.  
  
Peter: ::sits back on the bed::  
  
Lily: ::continues reading::  
  
"A house elf must be set free, sir. And the family will never set Dobby free...Dobby will serve the family until he dies, sir..."  
  
Lily: ::breaths:: How horrible!  
  
James: Don't tell me your gonna start rambling about SPEW again, are you?  
  
Lily: I know someone will like the idea! I know it!  
  
Harry stared.  
  
"And I thought I had it bad staying here for another four weeks," he said. "This makes the Durlseys sound almost human.  
  
[ CEE82EE]James: ::interrupts:: Notice he said 'almost'  
  
Remus: We noticed Prongs.  
  
Can anyone help you? Can't I?"  
  
James: ::mutters:: Oh no, Harry's gonna start SPEW.  
  
Lily: ::grins proudly:: That's my boy.  
  
Almost at once, Harry wished he hadn't spoken. Dobby dissloved again into wails of gratitude.  
  
"Please," Harry whispered franticually, "please be quiet. If the Dursleys hear anything, if they know you're here-"  
  
Sirius: Then he's dead.  
  
James: Exactly  
  
Sirius: ::turns to Lily:: Your sister and her husband are prats.  
  
Lily: ::about to retort and nods in agreement:: You're right.  
  
Remus: ::in mock desperation:: No, you're becoming like THEM! ::points to Sirius/James::  
  
James/Sirius: ::grins evilly::  
  
"Harry Potter asks if he can help Dobby...Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir, but your goodness, Dobby never knew..."  
  
Harry, who was feeling distinctly hot in the face, said, "Whatever you heard about my greatness is a load of rubbish. I'm not even at the top of my year at Hogwarts; that's Hermione, she -"  
  
Sirius: Hey, Hermione sounds alot like you Lily.  
  
James: Yeah, are you sure we didn't have another kid?  
  
Lily: ::sighs:: Yes Potter, the book said only Harry.  
  
But he stopped quickly, because thinking of Hermione was painful.  
  
Peter: Why?  
  
All: ::look at him::  
  
Peter: ::looks away meekly::  
  
"Harry Potter is humble and modest," said Dobby revently, his ord-like eyes aglow. "Harry Potter speaks not of his trumph over He-Who-Must-Not-He-Named- "  
  
Lily: ::pauses a second then continues::  
  
"Voldemort?"  
  
Peter: ::flinchs, covering his ears::  
  
Lily: ::freezes up::  
  
Remus: ::looks away quietly::  
  
James/Sirius: ::get identical looks of hatred::  
  
Peter: ::moans:: Why did he say HIS name?  
  
James: I don't think he knows the effect. ::looks at Lily::  
  
Lily: ::absouletly quiet::  
  
James: ::touchs her shoulder:: Evans?  
  
Lily:: ::flinchs away:: Don't touch me Potter.  
  
James: ::blinks hurt::  
  
Remus: ::murmurs:: I think it's time for me to start reading.  
  
Lily: ::gladly gives him the book::  
  
said Harry.  
  
Dobby clapped his hands over his bat ears and moaned,  
  
Sirius: Hey, that sounds like Peter!  
  
Peter: ::turns red::  
  
"Ah, speak not his name, sir!" Speak not the name!"  
  
"Sorry," said Harry quickly. "I know people who don't like it. My friend Ron-"  
  
He stopped again. Thinking about Ron was painful too.  
  
Peter: Why?  
  
Sirius: ::groans:: Because he misses them, you cheese brain!  
  
Dobby leaned toward Harry, his eyes wide as headlights.  
  
"Dobby heard tell," he said hoursely, "That Harry Potter met the Dark Lord for the second time, just weeks ago...that Harry Potter escaped yet again."  
  
Lily: ::blinks::  
  
Harry nodded and Dobby's eyes suddenly shone with tears.  
  
"Ah, sir," he gasped, dabbing his face with a corner of the grubby pillowcase he was wearing. "Harry Potter is valiant and bold! He has braved many dangers already! But Dobby has come to protect Harry Potter, to warn him, even he does have to shut his ears in the oven door later...Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts."  
  
Peter: Why?  
  
Sirius: ::gets annoyed:: We don't know yet Peter.  
  
There was silence broken only be the clinking of knives and forks from downstairs and Uncle Vernon's voice.  
  
James: More like a boom.  
  
"Wh-what?" Harry stammered. "But I've got to go back - term starts September 1st. It's what keeps me going. You don't know what it's like here. I don't belong here. I belong in your world - at Hogwarts."  
  
James: Of course he does, how come the little bugger keeps saying he's in trouble?  
  
Remus: Probably because he is.  
  
"No, no, no," squeaked Dobby, shaking his head so hard that his ears flapped. "Harry Potter must stay where he's safe. He is too great, too good, to lose. If Harry Potter goes back to Hogwarts, he'll be in mortal danger."  
  
Lily: ::sucks in a sharp breath::  
  
James: Are you ok?  
  
Lily: ::says through clenched teeth:: Stop asking me that.  
  
"Why?" asked Harry in surprise.  
  
"There is a plot, Harry Potter." A plot to make most terrible things happen in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year," whispered Dobby, trembling all over.  
  
Lily: ::lower jaw twitchs::  
  
"Dobby has known it for months, sir. Harry Potter must not put himself in peril. He is too important, sir!"  
  
"What terrible things?" said Harry at once. "Who's plotting them?"  
  
Sirius: It's questions, questions, questions with your son.  
  
James: ::smacks him across the head::  
  
Dobby made a funny choking noise and then banged his head frantically against the wall.  
  
"All right!" cried Harry, grabbing the elf's arm to stop him. "You can't tell me, I understand. But why are you warning me?"  
  
Sirius: That is a good question.  
  
Remus: Shut it.  
  
A sudden, unpleasent thought struck him. "Hang on - this doesn't have anything to do with Vol-  
  
Peter: ::flinchs::  
  
sorry-  
  
Peter: That's alright  
  
with You-Know-Who, has it? You can just shake or nod," he added hastily as Dobby tilted his head worryingly close to the wall again.  
  
Slowly, Dobby shook his head.  
  
"Not - not He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, sir-"  
  
Sirius: ::mutters:: Probably the Malfoys.  
  
But Dobby's eyes were wide and he seemed to be trying to give Harry a hint. Harry, however, was completly lost.  
  
"He hasn't got a brother, has he?"  
  
Sirius: ::starts cracking up::  
  
All: ::stare at him::  
  
Sirius: ::finally stops after five minutes:: A brother...jeez, your son is stupid-  
  
James: ::hit him hard, with no trace of joking on his face::  
  
Sirius: ::looks worried:: Sorry.  
  
Dobby shook his head, his eyes wider then ever.  
  
"Well, then, I can't think of who else would have the chance od making horrible things happen at Hogwarts," said Harry.  
  
Sirius: ::shakes his head::  
  
"I mean, there's Dumbledore, for one thing - you know who Dumbledore is, don't you?"  
  
Remus: Everyone know Dumbledore.  
  
Dobby bowed his head.  
  
"Albus Dumbledore is the greatest Headmaster Hogwarts has ever had. Dobby knows it, sir. Dobby has heard Dumbledore's powers rival those of He-Wh- Must-Not-Be-Nsmed at the height of his strength. Bit, sir-" Dobby's voice dropped to an urgent whisper - "there are powers Dumbledore doesn't...powers no decent wizard..."  
  
All: ::become quiet::  
  
And before Harry could stop him, Dobby bounded of the bed, seized Harry's desk lamp, and started beating himself around the head with ear splitting yelps.  
  
James: ::shakes his head:: If he keeps that up, he'll get...um-what were they called?  
  
Lily: ::whispers:: Head trama  
  
James: Yeah, those. 


End file.
